PMD2 10: Everybody’s Got Something to Hide (Except For Me and My Turtle)

The Satellite of Wigglylove

: Behind the waterfall, there is a cave.

: C’mon, even you could have guessed that.

: In the deepest part of the cave, there is a gigantic gem…

: Not that gigantic.

: When you pushed on the gem, it triggered a trap of some kind…

: “And then you wiped out- which, in case you forgot, makes you lose half of your items and money.”

: And, surprisingly, you were flushed off to the distant Hot Spring? Is that the gist of your report?

: And now you’re gonna yell at us for not getting the gem, right?

: So… you’re gonna yell at us because you don’t believe the report?

: This is a major discovery!

: He’s not yelling at us? That’s ominous.

: Undoubtedly! ♪ After all, the presence of the cave behind the waterfall…

: Uh-oh.

: No one knew about that before now! ♪

: I keep expecting this conversation to go south, but it never does.

: That reminds me- when I had those psychic episodes…

: Yeah, there’s no doubt. I definitely saw Wigglytuff.

: In other words, these guys knew all along.

: God dammit.

: Yeah, sure. You wasted our time finding something he already knew about- might as well waste his by telling him about it.

: You can’t distract us with misused words. We’re on to your sick little game.

: If that were so, the Guildmaster wouldn’t have ordered you to investigate the place, right?

: Nah, he would. He’s probably sitting at his desk, sipping wine and congratulating himself for sending us on a wild goose chase.

: Hmm. However, since you insist, I will confirm it with the Guildmaster.

: Well, guess we won’t be seeing you again.

: Oh, Chatot. Some day, you’ll understand the importance of speaking truth to power.

: I guess I should be used to it by now…

: What?

: We’re strange? You’re a parrot shaped like a musical note. Just let that sink in.

: Hold on a minute. What’re you going on about?

: Okay, so now we know this’s happened before.

: Then the question is why Chatot doesn’t want us to know.

: Well, yeah, but I’m also curious about how the other teams figured it out without psychic powers.

: Anyway, I will go confirm what you told me with the Guildmaster. Please wait here.

Exit Chatot.

Fade to black

: …And it turns out that these shells need- oh, it’s that guy.

: When I asked the Guildmaster, he mulled over it for a bit.

: “And then he fell asleep.”

: And then he said…

: “Who is this bird and what is it doing in my house?”

: “Ah, memories! ♪ Sweet memories! ♪ YOOM… TAH!”

: “So, uh… long story short, here’s a map. That’ll be 300 Rupees.”

: Then he danced around a bit.

: Wasn’t this a Python sketch?

: And then he said… “Yes, yes! When I think hard, maybe I did go there once!”

: …We’re not gettin’ paid for this, are we?

: And that’s just what the Guildmaster said.

: You really are a greedy son of a bitch.

: To sum it up, it’s just as Trielo suspected… he has indeed already been to Waterfall Cave.

: Waterfall Cave is the lamest, must unoriginal name possible.

: The Guildmaster can be rather, uh, erratic at times…

: “Erratic?” The man gives the morning address in his sleep!

: Even I can’t quite fathom what goes on in his head.

: Dreams. Dreams and nothing else.

: Well, that’s too bad for you.

: Actually, all things considered, this was pretty fruitful. We got something resembling a straight answer, which is rare even from people who aren’t the head honcho.

: Nevertheless, I shall expect your best effort tomorrow! ♪

: Yeah, whatever.

A Fancy 1-Star Restaurant

: Seriously, what the hell is this?

That night…

Win-pressed light, moonlight melts…

: Seriously, it’s been like two and a half updates. Not even the Drowzee thing took this long.

: You know, I think there’s a pattern in your psychic visions.

: The physical contact thing? Yeah, I noticed that after the Drowzee incident.

: The one with the waterfall was kind of a stretch, though.

: There’s one thing that bugs me, though- how does it decide what time I see? As far as I can tell, I just get whatever is most convenient for the writers.

: That’s probably it, then. Touch something plot-relevant and you get a vision of something important.

: I kind of wish it was something more exploitable than that.

: The hell d’you want?

: The Guildmaster wants to see you right away.

: Sometimes I wish these guys would just shut up for five goddamn minutes.


: It’s still kind of a dumb name.

: Guildmaster… Guildmaster?

: Shouldn’t you be used to the narcolepsy by now?

: Your team went through a lot today! Yes, a lot-lot! But don’t worry! I’m keeping watch on your activities!

: He sees you when he’s sleeping…

: I should tell you why I called you here.

: “But I won’t! Man, I love screwin’ with the recruits.”

: We’re planning to mount a full expedition soon! ♪

: Is this gonna be one of those times when we should see other teams but never do?

: Yes! The guild will go explore someplace far away! It’s much harder than exploring our nearby area.

: “It’d probably be easier if we stopped at any of the other towns, but where’s the fun in that?”

: That’s why we need to prepare for the big trip properly.

: And you’re telling us this personally because…?

: We carefully choose which members go on the expedition.

: Doesn’t that kind of exclude you from using “the guild” as a collective?

: Nah, I think it’s valid. ‘The guild’ as an entity is sending a team, rather than teams going off on their own.

: I guess. Still, the phrase kind of implies that we’re all going.

: Usually, we would never, ever consider rookies to be exploration team members.

: Y’know what? Go beat up a god. No, seriously, go find a god and beat the crap out of it. When you come back, I’ll still be ahead of you by four gods and a meteor to the face.

: But you two are working so very hard!

: We’ve been through, like, four dungeons.

: That’s why we’re making a special exception this time!

: How much you wanna bet they just want to see us get beat up?

: We decided to include you in the list of candidates for the expedition!

: “…But we didn’t pick you. Sorry for getting your hopes up!”

: Now, now! You haven’t been chosen as expedition members yet.

: I seriously doubt they’d bother with this scene in if we won’t be.

: There is still time before we set out on the expedition. If you fail to do good work before then, you cannot expect to be selected for the expedition.

: “So what I’m saying is fork over some cash and maybe your chances will… improve, capiche?”

: I’m sure you two can do it! Try hard!

: Try? Please. We’ve got this in the bag.

: Actually, forget it. You’re off the list.

Next: Remember Team Meanies? Me either.

About this entry