PMD2 7: My Gate’s Keeper

The next morning…

: You’re a jackass.

After the morning address…

: This is the worst chapter.

: With all due respect (none), go fu

: Okay why are we helping?

: This is the worst chapter.

: This is the moment we’ve been waiting for! Quick, push him down the hole!

: Thank you, Loudred.

: God dammit. If there’s one thing I hate more than you it’s Texans.

: Sorry. I’m usually the one to do Sentry duty.

: Damn right you are. Who the hell said you could change class? I’m not about to give up my 57-point streak because the Engineer got bored.

: But today, my dad gave me his duty of updating the boards. That’s why I can’t main my post.

: Typical. Some guy we don’t even know blows off work to hit the pub and we’re stuck picking up the slack.

: It would be great if somebody could take over my sentry duty today.

: I haven’t even seen you do anything in the last 4 days.

: And that’s why you’re here. Please do a good job for me. Bye!

: When this is done, let’s find Dugtrio and give him a piece of our mind.

: Or a boot up the ass.

: There is nothing in the world I want more than to push you down this hole.

: Why is this even our problem!


: Ooh, nice yelling. You could probably intimidate a six-year-old like that.


: I wish the Keckleons sold earplugs.

: If the answer is anything other than “beat the living hell out of me,” you’re wrong.

: Climb down this hole and stand guard. You’re on sentry duty!

: I’ve got a better idea. You go down the hole, then we borrow Croagunk’s pot and use it as a plug.

: We can’t have suspicious characters coming into the guild.

: We got in.

: So we station a sentry below the guild entrance to evaluate Pokemon visitors.

: Fascinatin’. You wanna tell us about the notice boards now?

: When you first came, you had your footprint evaluated, right?

: Only the first time. Presumably, any Treecko can just waltz in now.

: The tunnel down there leads to the sentry post.

: Really? Damn. I thought it went to Wonderland.

: I hope Wigglytuff doesn’t have any enemies who know Dig.

: I don’t think burrowing is necessary anymore. I mean, you already got a hole.

: Loudred is still amazed every time he kicks at the ground and OH MY GOD IT MOVED.

: Whatever, can we just get this over with?

Loudred: Then I decide if the Pokemon is suspicious or not and open the gate if he passes muster.

: This is the single most unreasonable security system I have ever seen.

: Your decision is based entirely on species and there’s no oversight? This is a system built on the racism of a moron.

?: So we serve as the guild’s gatekeepers. That’s the gist of it.

: And just how in the hell do you expect us to know that?

: Alright? Understood?

: No, but it’ll never make more sense so long as you’re the one explaining.

: Good! Then let’s get to WORK! Buck up and do a GOOD job!

: I don’t even have ears and yet somehow he manages to hurt them.

Down the hole

: …

: …This is taking a long time to load.

: I think it is loaded.

: What, we don’t even get a light? God damn this game.

: Nothing for it, then. We’ll just have to feel our way through.

: …

: …

: Ow! That was my eye!

: Sorry.

: …My forehead’s tingling. I feel like I’m about to hit a wall.

: This minigame better be worth it.

: It won’t be.

: Y’know, now that we’re under the grate I’ve come to realize that this is a harassment suit waiting to happen.

: HOW’S IT GOING!? Have you taken position at the sentry post?!

: If I say yes, will you shut up?

: GOOD! Pokemon visitors will step onto the grill above the sentry post! Identify them by footprint, then inform me! Got it?

: Well, I had it down before, but now I’m completely lost.

: GOOD! Let’s get started!

(This minigame is dumb.)


: That minigame was boring and pointless and you should be ashamed.

: Let me review your sentry-duty performance…

: Uh oh.

: Well well! Your results were… completely perfect!

: Except for the times I guessed wrong.

: …Eventually.

: Excellent!

: We’ll reward your effort! Generously, I might add!

: Ahahaha no.

: You all deserve an especially large reward! ♪

: …A $25 Barnes & Noble Gift Card.

: You’re not an elephant, you’re a turtle. Turtles forget.

As a reward for a job perfectly done, Trielo’s team… received $500!

: Wait, what? This is more than we got for beating up Drowzee.

: This place is backwards as hell.

In addition, the team also recieved a Joy Seed!

: I don’t know what “Joy Seed” is but it’s probably illegal.

Not only that, the team also received a Ginseng!

: If only I had a cup of tea.

But that’s not the end of it!

: Joel, tell them what else they’ve won!

The team also received a Life Seed!

: That’s the third most repulsive thing I’ve heard today. 1 and 2 were both Loudred.

So many rewards! Can you believe it?

: Just imagine if they allotted this kind of loot to something interesting or useful.

: Keep up the good work! ♪

: We’re never doing this again.

: Agreed.

Mos Eisley Cafeteria

: Yo, Dugtrio! GO TO H-

: HEY! No yelling at the dinner table!

: I hate you.

Next: Knowing this game? More filler.

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