PMD 23: Cheap Immigrant Labor

PMD 23-1

: Did anything cataclysmic happen?

: You mean the earthquake?  Well, it wasn’t really any worse than the ones we usually get, but then again they don’t happen at random.  We’ll probably trigger a cutscene if we go into town.

PMD 23-2

: Sooner than expected, even.  How nice.

PMD 23-3

wobbafet salute: Wobbuffet!

y not: We have a notice on the bulletin board outside Pelipper Post Office.

wobbafet salute: Wobbuffet!

: Is… is he gonna keep doing that?

: Haven’t we already pretty clearly established that we’re not doing the Pokemon Speak thing?

: The fact that we’re having this conversation makes it pretty clear.

: And why can the little guy speak normally?  Do they actually lose cognitive function as they evolve?

y not: Please look at it for me.  Please, please.

: Wait, hold up.  You want us to walk all the way to the other side of town to look at your request, but you’re standing right here, talking to us.  Don’t you think we can simplify this just a little bit?

wobbafet salute: Wobbuffet!!!

: You shut up.

y not: Please help me.  I have to go now.

: To do what, exactly?  It only takes a couple of text boxes to explain it, you know?

: That’s an ideal the writers will never reach.

wobbafet salute: Wobbuffet!

PMD 23-4

: …What just happened?

: Beats the hell out of me.  Seems like we have to go walk to the goddamn bulletin board again, though.

PMD 23-5

t3: Okay, then.  Let’s see what all the fuss is about.  I bet he’s lost a friend down some cave somewhere, probably the one Groudon’s in.   They’ll have somehow managed to make their way down to the bottom, where Team ACT will need us to bail out their sorry asses because they took on a Lovecraftian monstrosity without being the main characters.

PMD 23-6

: …

: …

: That’s it?

: We’re being hired to settle some petty schoolyard conflict?

: I mean, here I was, all ready to be a Big Damn Hero, kill the god that the supposedly-more-competent legends couldn’t handle, ace-level stuff, you know?  Instead, I get stuck solving some petty dispute between some losers and a bunch of bullies.

: Well, I mean, we could just not take-

: That’s a lie and you know it.

: Yeah…

(After accepting the mission, the screen fades to black and then fades back into the same exact scene only you’re three feet to the left and those losers from before are back.)

PMD 23-7

: Wait a second, why the hell are you guys here?  Weren’t you busy or something?  I mean, you don’t want to just tell us what the mission is, so you make as walk all the goddamn way out here and then, after we’ve already read the mission, you tell us about it.  WHY?

y not: A bad Mankey gang is going wild in our forest.  Everyone is upset.

: And why are you asking us?  I think we’ve proven ourselves plenty capable of handling the heavy-duty stuff.  Why don’t you go and ask Shiftry’s gang?  They’re probably not doing anything meaningful.

: Well, we really weren’t either, so…

: Details, details.

wobbafet salute: Wobbuffet!

y not: We don’t know why they rampage around…

: Have you tried asking them?

: Or are they mutes like your buddy there?

y not: But they are always angry and attack everyone they see!

: Then just gang up on ’em.  Even if they’re a fairly large group, they shouldn’t be able to take on everyone.

wobbafet salute: Wobbuffet!

: It occurs to me that Wobbuffet serves absolutely no purpose other than to adding some extra text boxes to what was already a filler dungeon.

y not: Thank you!  We’re counting on you!

: Wait, when did we say we’d do it?

s2: Eh, let’s just go.  I don’t see Wynaut.

: What’re you talking about he’s right- oh.

s2: Look, we don’t really have a choice, so let’s just do it.

: [Sigh.]  Fine.

The place where the Mankey gang is wreaking havoc on others…

The Uproar Forest is now open for exploration!

(I take Rick along because everyone else is much lower-leveled thanks to the three dungeons of inactivity.)

PMD 23-8

(Compared to the last few dungeons, this one is almost pathetically easy.  Enemies barely do any damage in most situations and go down in a hit or two.)

Uproar Forest Floor B7F

PMD 23-9

seedot: …

: …

seedot: …

: …Yes?

seedot: …

: Um… hi?

seedot: …

: Creepy little bugger, ain’t he?

s2: Let’s keep him.

(I also found and peeled (because I didn’t realize that automatically made you eat it and I wanted to cut out a few steps when they become important) a chestnut.  I didn’t get screenshots because I didn’t think you really needed to see it, but it turns out I made reference to this more than I thought I would.)

Uproar Forest Floor B9F

PMD 23-10

(Floyd learns Rapid Spin, which I trade for Withdraw.)

Uproar Forest B10F

PMD 23-11

abs: Oh, um, we’re here with the, uh, homeowner’s association… it’s about your lawn ornaments…

mankey: We don’t like to brag or nothin’, but…

mankey: We get furious real easy.  You know that!?

: I hope there’s an Aesop about taking your Poke-meds.

mankey: What really irritates us is when we see some dim-witted face…

mankey: ……………….. Wroaaaaaaaar!  That vacant expression…

seedot: …

t4: Dammit, Floyd!  I told you keeping pets was a bad idea!

: B-b-but… look at him!  He’s such a cute little thing…

mankey: Gwooh!  It’s ticking me off!  I’m seeing red!

mankey: Mukkkeeeeeeeh!

: What the hell kind of messed-up excuse for a word is that?

mankey: Get ’em!  It’s frenzy time!

(This is the easiest boss battle ever.  I literally just stand in one spot and use Pound/Absorb.  Two of them get one-shotted, and the other gets finished off by Floyd before it can do anything.)

PMD 23-12

: …Mankey gang?  Gang of Mankeys?  …Gangkey?

: You’re just an endless fountain of bad puns today.

y not: Everyone, thank you for everything, really.

wobbafet salute: Wobbuffet!

t4: …Must… resist… emo… urges…

y not: Yes, we’re filled with gratitude!

: I suddenly get the feeling that we’re not getting paid for this one.

y not: This is our thanks!

s2: Oh, well whaddya-

PMD 23-13

: Okay, I should have seen that one coming.

: A peeled chestnut.

y not: Yes, it’s a peeled chestnut.

: Yeah, I know.  I found one on the forest floor.  What kind of lame-ass reward is this?

y not: You see, we don’t have any money.

: But we found that on the floor, too.

y not: So we can only give you this chestnut as a reward.  Are you unhappy?

: Yes.

PMD 23-14

: This is gonna be something stupid, I just know it.

PMD 23-15

s2: Oh, wait, they’re actually really weak and lame.  Never mind.

wob: Wobbuffet?

t4: I hate you.

: Are they here to be slight nuisances at worst, free experience at best again?

: I’d call them worse than Team Meanies, but at least they don’t call themselves “Team Meanies.”

PMD 23-16

mankey: You got lucky! You don’t mess with us!

t3: Actually, I think we do.

mankey: We’re not gonna lose this time!  We’ll pulverize you!

: Wouldn’t it be hilarious if it turned out they were actually really tough this time?

t3: Wishful thinking, my dear Watson.

(The miserable fleabags charge.)

PMD 23-17

mankey: Ch-Chestnut!

mankey: It is!  It’s a peeled chestnut!

: Aw, c’mon!  We don’t even get to keep our lame reward?

PMD 23-18

: Um, guys?  You need to actually whisper something, you can’t just say “whisper, whisper.”

mankey: Mutter, mutter…

: Same deal.

y not: They look like…. they’re having a discussion.

: Oh, really?  I thought they were having a civilized game of cricket by the pond.

wob: Wobbuffet.

t4: You’re not helping.

mankey: Uh, listen.  You got something we want…  That peeled chestnut you have… can we have it?

: If it gets you to leave, then yes.

mankey: We, uh… love peeled chestnuts!

: Figures.

mankey: Like, uh, we love them so much, we can’t think of a life without Chestnuts!

: I’d make a joke about Vicodin but I’m not Hugh Laurie.

: So?  They’re lying all over, go get ’em yourself.

mankey: You know how chestnuts have that spiky shell?  Trying to peel that spiky shell… it hurts.  And we end up losing our tempers!

: I didn’t have much trouble with it.

mankey: That’s why you’re asking.  Give us that peeled chestnut.  We’ll do whatever you want.

: …………………..aaaaaaaugh!

: …um, yeah.  So, whaddya think?

PMD 23-19

: …I guess… I mean, we’ve got plenty of Oran Berries, they’re basically the same thing…

s2: Okay, how about this.  Are you guys any good at physical labor?

mankey: Physical labor?  You mean muscle work?

s2: Yeah, sure, whatever.

mankey: We have muscles… but we don’t like work.

mankey: But if it’s for that peeled Chestnut…

s2: Okay.  So, we wanna make this base here a little more intimidating, capiche?

mankey: Rescue team base?

s2: :Yeah, sure, whatever.  Look, if you renovate this place, we’ll give you the Chestnut.  Deal?

: Cheap immigrant labor?  Clever.

mankey: Whisper whisper…

mankey: Mutter mutter…

: Haven’t we been over this?

mankey: Okay, we’ll help.

s2: Great.  So, you ca-

mankey: Yeah, we’ll get this place built right up!

mankey: We’ll bring in the materials and get this place built.  Double-quick!

: Yeah, sure, whatever.

mankey: …In return… hand over that peeled Chestnut!

s2: Fine.  We already said we would.  Geeze.

PMD 23-20

: Oh, god dammi- you again?

c3: I’ll spit silk for gluing things together!

: Ew.

y not: I’ll help too!

wobbafet salute: Wobbuffet!

y not: I felt bad because we only had a peeled Chestnut for your reward.

wobbafet salute: Wobbuffet!!!

: Heartwarming.  Now get the hell away from my house.

And so…

Construction work began on the rescue team base of

Trielo’s team IronicName.

Several days later…

PMD 23-21

: Yeah, okay, fine.  Can we take a break now?  I haven’t saved in three days.

wobbafet salute: Wobbuffet!!!

: They’re starting to get on my nerves.

wobbafet salute: Wobbuffet!!!

t4: Especially him.

c2: But it’s not over yet.  We still have difficult things to do.

s2: Yeah.  But we’re getting closer, right, Mankey g-

s4: Where the hell did they go?

PMD 23-22

s4: Yo!  Get your asses in gear!

c2: We still have work to do.

mankey: Don’t… wanna…

: Geeze.  Today’s cheap immigrant workforce is so demanding.

mankey: This work’s too boring!  How do you expect us to keep going?

mankey: Yeah, that’s right.  I don’t wanna do this anymore.

mankey: We might change our minds… if you get us more peeled Chestnuts!

t4: Great, a sidequest.  Like we didn’t have enough of those.

Next: Chestnut Collector 2000!

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