Sonic Battle #2: The Tutorial

Previously on Let’s Play Sonic Battle: Sonic gave Tails some busted-up robot to fix and went to chase after Ms. Fanservice herself, Rouge the Bat.

(The game doesn’t come out and say it, but it’s not too hard to figure out that you’re supposed to go back to the beach.)

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And here we find the plot!

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mug_sonic_4-2: What do you want?

…YOU’re the one chasing after HER! God you’re thick.

mug_rouge_2-2: Is that how you greet a beautiful woman?

…You do realize that you’re a bat, right?

mug_sonic_4-2: I don’t have time for niceties. ‘Sides, I have enough girls chasing me as it is.

mug_rouge_1-2: Heh. The only girl I saw chasing you was a girl robot. Where is she, anyway?

Robots don’t have genders.

mug_sonic_4-2: What girl robot? You don’t mean that robot…

Are there any other robots we should know about?

mug_rouge_1-2: How about a little wager? If I win, you have to partner up with me.

mug_sonic_4-2: If this is your plan to get a date, you’ll still need to wait in line!


mug_rouge_1-2: Well, there’s quite a line. Shadow, Dr. Eggman, and even my boss are interested in your little robot.

The jokes make themselves, so I’m just going to ignore that and inform those of you who don’t know that Rouge has some kind of vague, ill-defined job as a secret agent working for the government. Yes, this is in addition to her role as a thief. Background checks aren’t what they used to be.

mug_rouge_1-2: And I hate waiting in lines, you see.

mug_sonic_2-2: I saw Shadow earlier. He said something about Eggman, too. But wait… why’s a master thief interested in-

This conversation is entirely disconnected. There’s no real flow here; each new topic barely seems related to the last, and it feels like the writers were just going down a bulleted list of information they wanted to disperse.

mug_rouge_2-2: The robot’s a special case. And it’s already established a “Link” with you.

I’m not sure where this particular line of questioning is coming from, actually. She already said that her boss is interested in the robot.

mug_rouge_2-2: This isn’t an ordinary robot, you know. So, about my little wager. If I win, you have to team up with me, okay?

mug_sonic_3-2: Isn’t it a little early to be getting romantic?


mug_sonic_3-2: And if I win, you’ll leave me alone, right?

This isn’t a very smart wager, seeing as he’s supposed to be the fastest thing alive and can just walk away to achieve the same effect.

mug_rouge_1-2: Better watch yourself. Don’t ever underestimate an agent. You might get hurt.

(Fight time!) [YouTube]

(This one’s kind of weird; I forgot that this game has a tendency to make you fight someone and then fight them again, so I stopped recording and missed a single text box. It wasn’t important, though, and I didn’t have anything funny to say about it. Also, I didn’t figure out how to get the song titles to not blur like that until the last video of the update.)

mug_rouge_1-2: Hmm. Well, I guess you’ve had enough for today.

mug_rouge_1-2: I’ll see you later! Bye!

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…She left. That was the deal, remember? From five minutes ago? “And if I win, you’ll leave me alone.” Make up your goddamn mind.

mug_sonic_4-2: Eggman, Rouge, and Shadow- that robot sure is popular. I better go check up with Tails.

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Now we have to go to Tails’ Lab. It’s over here.

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Open entry, we’re assaulted by…

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…a cheap greyscale version of our robot.

mug_sonic_4-2: Woah!

(It’s time for another fight (for some reason).) [YouTube]

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Honestly, I wouldn’t be too concerned. That robot was a total pushover.

(We’ve got to select Tails’ Lab on the map again.)

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mug_tails_1-2: What? Um… I guess so. I just thought you should know that this guy’s twin was robbing a jewelry store. Well, actually, I could care less about you, but somebody’s got to tell the readers.

mug_sonic_2-2: We just encountered that “fake,” I think. I wonder if there are even more of them out there. Hmm, this is all starting to get a little more interesting now.

mug_tails_2: Interesting? In this game? I think not.

mug_sonic_2-2: So, whaddya find out?

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technology inside it!

mug_tails_1-2: By which I mean it’s a robot! They’re not exactly simple machines.

mug_sonic_3-2: Well, it sure doesn’t seem that way. It won’t even obey my commands!

mug_tails_1-2: Oh, I’m sorry! I forgot about your vendetta against individuality. Wait outside while I figure out how to delete free will and get the tutorial set up.

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We just press A again and get an unskippable combat tutorial.

mug_tails_1-2: Okay, here’s the deal. You press some buttons and stuff happens. Now that we’re all on the same page, let’s try some heavy attacks. What are those? Hell if I know.

mug_sonic_4-2: Fighting skills? Hey, are you even sure this thing can stand on its own? It looks pretty beat up.

mug_tails_1-2: Does it? I honestly can’t tell. There’s nothing in the sprite work to suggest that.

I recorded video of the tutorials, but they were stupid and boring and pointless so I’m not going to bother posting them. You guys don’t want to watch me do the same move five times in a row.

After the Heavy Attack tutorial:

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light… it happened when we were fighting Shadow, too.

mug_tails_1-2: Sounds like an RPG element to me. Okay, now let’s do an upper attack. Press some different buttons or something, I don’t know. Leave me alone.

After the Upper Attack tutorial:

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mug_tails_1-2: Just as I thought. Okay, this is going to be a whole lot of words you don’t really care about, so you might want to get a soda or something. Anyway, this robot thing here is going to be the driving force behind the plot for the rest of the game, as well as a convenient gameplay mechanic.

mug_sonic_4-2: OK, so I know this is an amazing robot. But what does it mean? And why is everyone after him?

mug_tails_1-2: Well, first off, it’s powered by Chaos Emeralds, like every single other important thing in this series. If we feed it enough, it’ll do more things and eventually start talking. God help us all.

mug_sonic_4-2: So maybe that’s why Eggman…

mug_tails_1-2: No, Eggman wants it because he’s the villain and that’s what villains do. Now shut up and let me talk.

mug_tails_1-2: This guy is basically Megaman. If he sees or gets hit by an attack, he learns it.

mug_sonic_4-2: So what you mean is, if I kick him, he will learn my move, and kick just like I did. Am I following you right, Tails?

mug_tails_1-2: …Yeah, sure, why not. On top of that, he can combine moves as well. I’m not sure how that works, but I’m sure it’ll either be really obvious or completely unnecessary.

mug_sonic_4-2: Well, that’s cool, I guess. I should teach it to run in case it ever needs to run away.

mug_tails_1-2: I think you mean “I should teach it to run because that’s my only marketable skill.”

mug_sonic_4-2: So, it’s able to even combines moves, such as using my jumping skill with your attack techniques.

mug_tails_1-2: “Combines moves?” And who says “jumping skill?” Or “attack techniques,” for that matter? Why isn’t this in a isolated system message or something? It doesn’t translate well to actual dialog.

mug_tails_1-2: Oh, um, right. There’s a limit to what abilities it can learn. It’s got to do with “Skill Points” or something like that. I don’t really know ’cause this little bastard crashed my computer. I’m gonna have to start compiling that free will remover all over again.

mug_sonic_4-2: Hmm. It all sounds complicated, but basically this robot has the ability to learn our moves, right? In that case-

(I don’t feel like transcribing the rest of that, so here’s the short version: “Blah blah blah let’s fight.”) [YouTube]

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still got to practice a lot more!

mug_tails_1-2: Screw you.

mug_sonic_4-2: I guess this place is too small to teach it that. Let’s go over to the “Emerald Beach”!

mug_tails_1-2: Wait, hold on. Too small to teach it what, exactly?

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technique. I should try that! Emerl should’ve learned my “Heavy Attack” and “Upper Attack”

mug_tails_1-2: Who the hell is Emerl?

You can now edit Emerl’s skills by pressing the “R Button.”

mug_tails_2: Why do the system messages know more about the plot than I do?

Next: We’re going to the beach! I won’t bother with sunblock and my shoulders will hate me for it.

Viewer Participation: I’m always glad to get feedback, but I’m looking for some ideas about the videos in particular; I’m not really used to it and I kind of feel like they’re missing something.


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