PMD 17: I Hate Fire. Goddamn Pyros.

(Whew!  Sorry about the delay, I got distracted by some other projects, but really mostly by other, better, games.  Oh, and school.  That doesn’t help.)

Lapis Cave B1F

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t3: Why, hello there, conveniently placed staircase.

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: “Finally?”  The thing was like fifteen floors, and we spawned in the same room as the stairs on more than half of them.

(No, seriously.  Absolutely nothing happened in that entire dungeon, but we started next to the stairs a ridiculous number of times.)

: I don’t like it when the game starts seeming nice.

: It does look like they’re about to pull something annoying, doesn’t it?

: Hey, where’d the stalkers go?

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t4: Dammit, Floyd!

?: Catch Trielo!

: We’re gonna have to make a break for it.

?: Stop right there!  We can’t let you escape!

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t3: Aw, that’s cute.  The game’s trying to make a joke.

s2: It’s too bad they couldn’t do a better job of it.

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: What!?

: There’s no way we ran more than five feet.

: This is seriously supposed to keep us safe?

: That’s just terrible.

: How does that even get into the finished product?  Do they just have no quality control people or something?

: Hey, what’s… ah, hell.

: What?

: Turn around.

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: Dammit.  Did I ever mention that I really hate fire?

: I kind of assumed, what with lizards’ infamous flammability.

: …That… yeah, I don’t get that at all.

: That makes two of us.

: Do we really have to go through it?

: They wouldn’t have shown it to us if we didn’t.

?: There they are!  Get them!

: Curses!  Our clever plot to move five feet has failed!

: Ah, damn- we’re gonna have to make a break for it.

: Can we stay here and fight?

: While that may have been epic and awesome, that’s not the angle they wanted to take with this.  We have to run.

: Why can’t this game do cool things?

?: Look at them go!  They’re running for Mt. Blaze!

?: Are they insane?  Mt. Blaze is doomed desolation!

t3: Standing there in doom-ed desolation is the English way!

?: No one’s ever come this far before!

: Unless you count all the other people we’re gonna come across in the next few dungeons.

?: I don’t wanna go anywhere like that.

t3: I like this one.  He’s got a good head on his shoulders.

?: It can’t be helped.  Only those brave enough will give chase!

t3: Oh, goody.  Looks like we’re only gonna have to deal with the morons now.

(There’s a save point here.  Normally this is where I’d end the update, but it’d been quite some time and this one’s really short so far.)

?: Darn it!  Where’d they go?

?: They had to go this way!  Keep your eyes open!

?: Rooooooaaaar!

: That was articulate.

Tromp, tromp, tromp, tromp, tromp, tromp.

…………………………..

: …………….

: What the hell was that?

: Yeah… I, uh… I have no clue.

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: You honestly believe that?

: …Not really.

: Right.  If they were gone, we wouldn’t have to go through this godforsaken mountain.

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: There’s no way we’re gonna get out of this volcano thing.  The other one’s probably just some stupid four-floor dungeon with no real purpose that loops back here in shameless disregard for the laws of physics and common sense.

Mt. Blaze 1F

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: Welp.

Mt. Blaze 3F

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: A shop?  In the middle of a dungeon?

: I can’t imagine it’s a very lucrative business.

(Okay, so, Keckleon Shop.  Basically, every now and again you run across a Keckleon in a dungeon who’ll sell you some stuff.  You just pick it up off the ground and talk to Keckleon to pay for it.  There’s technically nothing stopping you from just taking it except that if you don’t pay the game spawns an assload of ridiculously high-level Keckleon on you.  It’s entirely random, and I don’t think I ever actually came across one in my first playthrough.  We buy a Max Elixer, which is always handy, and a Rawst Berry because fire hurts.)

Mt. Blaze 10F

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t3: You sound happy.

s2: I’m just so glad something’s finally happening.

Mt. Blaze Mid

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: Well.

: That was boring as hell.

Mt. Blaze Peak 1F

(Oh god this dungeon.  I died so many times.  It’s a combination of factors- my lack of healing items, the enemy’s sheer strength in comparison to ours… you have to understand, this is a situation where if we get ganged up on by two enemies at once, we’re boned.)

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: With every dungeon, I grow to hate this game just a little bit more.

Mt. Blaze Peak 3F

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: No, this is a giant lake of fire that I want to get the hell away from as soon as physically possible at the latest.

: Yeah, it is a lot of lava… Actually, I think there’s more than usual.

: How do you know that?

: …I honestly have no idea.

: God DAMN it’s hot in here.

: Okay, you know what?  Don’t even talk to me about the heat.  I’m at least four times as flammable as you.

: Whatever.  Let’s just get the hell out of here.

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: Sorry, but there’s simply no way in hell I’m staying here any longer.

?: I can here the mountain’s screams… it is shrieking in pain…

: That’s too bad.   We’ll just clear out and let you tend to it, then, okay?

?: Somebody is causing Mt. Blaze to cry out in agony.  Is it you?

: We only beat up on its inhabitants.  I assure you, it’s somebody else’s fault.

Gyahhhhhh!

?: The mountain’s rage is my rage!

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: I have a stupid name!  The warrior of grammar am I!

moltres: There is no forgiving those who have befouled the mountain!

s2: Then it’s a good thing we didn’t do that.

moltres: En garde!

: What, we don’t even get to argue our case?

(This is where the boss fight starts, but recording screwed up and somehow managed to make me die.  I honestly have no idea.  Anyway, I feel bad about the ridiculously long delay, so let’s call this an update.  I’ll try my best to get at least one more update done during the Christmas break.)

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