PMD 14: The Plot Thickens. Not.

The next morning…

: Well, I managed to avoid any obvious foreshadowing.  That’s a victory in my book.

: So, anyway, you wanna go to Mt. Thunder?

: Yeah, let’s just get this bollocks over with.

: Hop to it.

: Finally.  Whaddya bastards think yer up to?  It’s been three days since I’ve got any action.

: Two.

: What the hell’re you-

: Trust me, just don’t even go there.

-Mt. Thunder-

: I see Nether’s gone missing again.

: I’m just down here, ya-

: Yes, yes, I know that.  That’s not the point.

: You think Alakazam’s already here?

: Oh, invariably.

-Level 1F-

: Well, I guess we gotta save Shiftry then, huh?

: What’d that bastard ever do for us, anyway?

: Doesn’t matter.  We’re the good guys.

: Hey, mister!  My name’s Jan.  Can I come with you?

: How forward.

: Yeah, you can come.  Never hurts to have an extra set of… er, paws.

: Yay!  Hugs!

: As you’ve clearly missed the giant skull hanging above my head, I have to decline.  Not that it would have made a difference.

: (Damn!  Why do I always end up with the prickly bastards?)

-Level 3F-

: Yay!  Good for you!

: …You’re starting to scare me.

-Level 7F-

: Yaaaaay!  Hugs for Nether!

: Back off, bitch.

: That kind of language isn’t necessary, Mr. Nether.

: I stand by my statement.

-Level 10F-

: Don’t even think about it, Pinky.

: Well, what makes you think I would, you goddamn bastard?

: …Wait, what?

: Oopsie!  Looks like I let that slip out.  Tee hee!

: Well.  That’s… pretty bipolar of you.

-Mt. Thunder Mid-

: What the hell?

: …Kangaskhan?

: Perhaps the item storage business is more lucrative than we initially suspected.

: So it’s a save point.  That just defies all logic.

: Hey, where’re Jan and Nether?

: I would suspect that the developers were just too lazy to put team members on overworld areas.  How this cave in the middle of a dungeon counts is anybody’s guess.

-Mt. Thunder Peak-

-Level 1F-

: Okay, what the hell?  Is it just me, or is there actually more greenery up here?  Mountains don’t work like that.

-Level 3F-

: You can tell ’cause of how the mountain doesn’t go any higher.

: I wonder where Zapdos is.  It’s not like a thunder god bird thing has anything better to do, right?

: I warned you!  I have no mercy for meddlers!

: You’re the one who invited us here.

: Look, just let the damn tree thing go.

: You must be determined to utter such words.

: Not really.

: Then you shall answer… to my great and righteous fury!

: God, it’s like he’s emo but with anger.  He’s probably gonna go listen to Linkin Park and punch a wall after this.

(Boss battle time!  Video is here.  Synopsis: We beat Zapdos and Jan gains a level.  And, uh, that’s about it.  The emulator’s still visible, though.  I’ll nip that someday.)

: Somebody get me an easy button, ’cause that was-

: Yeah, no.  Leave the pithy one-liners to me from now on, okay?  Besides, you didn’t even do anything.

: We just kicked a thunder god’s ass, no thanks to your lot.

: Need I remind you about-

: You know what?  It’s not really threatening anymore because, once again, we just kicked a thunder god’s ass.

: Touche.

: Urrg… uwoah!

: Wait, what?  You mean we didn’t beat him?  That’s… that’s just utter bollocks.

: Enough!  That’s enough fighting.

: I thought you wouldn’t tolerate meddlers.

: It clearly doesn’t apply to meddlers that’re more powerful than him.

: I’ve calmed down.  Take Shiftry back.

: Oh, yeah.  That moron.  I forgot about him.

: He’s probably just afraid we’re gonna beat him up again.

: Yeah, give ‘im a proper ass-whoopin’ this time, eh?

: But… fighting is wrong!

: For once, not even irrideemable naivete can bring down my good mood.

: Something’s seriously wrong with that statement.

: But then again… it is oh so rewarding!

: The conversation’s left you behind there, I think.

: You kids… you’ve impressed me.

: That goes doubly so for you.

: But… things won’t be this easy next time.

: Silly Mr. Zapdos!  We’ve kicked your sorry ass to the curb once, and we sure as hell can do it again!

: …I seriously lack confidence in her mental stability.

: Well, she did join us of her own free will.  Nobody sane would get involved with this slipshod operation.

: I will go all out next time.  You’d best be prepared!

: Hey, it’s not like you’ve got a hostage anymore.  I see no reason to ever come back here ever.

: Until then, you’d better hone your skills!

: It’s called leveling and if it doesn’t happen you’re doing something seriously wrong.

: Oh, yeah, him.

: I forgot again.

: Shiftry!  Are you okay?

: Ungh… uh, yeah…  Somehow, I am…

: Hector von Somehowerstein, at your service.

: But that was an eyeopener.  Driving off that Zapdos.

: Hey!  I can speak.  In shorthand.  Also.  Like Rorschach.  Guy was a sociopath.

: Shorthand doesn’t work that way.

: You can just shut up now.

: I agree.

: Good for you.  Can I go now?

: You’re awfully strong for a plain Treecko.

: That’s ’cause I’m the player character.

: …….

: I sensed it when we first met.

: I’m not blind, you know.  You think I didn’t figure that out?  You stopped and looked me over.  There are only two reasons for that, and since this is Pokemon and not a fanfic it can only mean that you know something about me that I don’t.  Or that I do.  Or something.  The point is that there’s a thing and you know it.

: Yes, well.  You’re not a Pokemon, are you?

: In the grand scheme of things?  No.  For the moment, I am.

: No, I mean you used to be a human.

: I have been at times.

: I mean you were a human but you got turned into a Pokemon.

: I suspect it, but I can’t accept it as anything more than a paranoid delusion because it lacks evidence.  But, because this game is stupid, I think it’s safe to say yes.

: What!?

: A human!?

: Is that possible?  Can something like that happen?

: Maybe I should just stop talking until you miserable lot learn to stop second guessing every god damned thing I say.

: Hey, wait a second- Alakazam, didn’t Lombre say you know everything?

: An exaggeration, I’m sure.

: I see where you’re going with this.  Unfortunately, your overly cheeky little friend- who, by the way, is going to find himself in some very hot water if he keeps this up-

: Oh, sod off.

: …is correct.  I cannot determine why he has become a Pokemon.

: However… there is a way for unveiling the truth.

: I don’t think that’s a valid sentence.

: It doesn’t parse very well, does it?

: Make way to the Hill of the Ancients.

: This is why you need good editors on your translation team.

: There, you will find a Pokemon who stares into the sun all day…

: Why would we need to talk to a blind guy?

: A Pokemon who is said to see into the future…

: How?  There’s no way he can even see into the present.

: Maybe he’s compensating.

: Xatu is his name.

: X-A-T-U-oh dear, I ran out of letters- and Xatu was his name-o!

: He should shed light on your puzzling friend.

: Hey, now.  Layton’s just eccentric.

: Ugh.  Guess this means we’re going to the Hill of the Ancients.  Let’s hurry back, then.  You too, moron.

: Oh, that’s right, Shiftry.  I forgot about him.

: You think you’ve used that one enough?

: Hey, hey.  I only used it three times.

: Alakazam.  I know you.

: Try using.  Full sentences.

: Hey, come on now.  We’re leaving, remember?

: I don’t think you’re completely ignorant about this.  You know something, don’t you?

: There is something that concerns me.  But it should go unspoken for now.  …For their sake…

: That’s ominous.

: No, seriously.  We’re leaving.

: [Sigh].  Fine.

Next: Ancient Hill the Of.

Participation: Who do we bring along?  So far we’ve got a bipolar Nidoran (Jan), a violent jackass of a Ledyba, Senor Stuttersly (Norman), and an annoying fella who WON’T STOP YELLING (Scrappy).


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