PMD 9: Worst. Villains. Ever.

Level 1F

: I could’ve sworn we were in a different room last time.

: I have no witty comment for this.  So, uh, yay me?

Level 2F

: Christ, this is boring.

: I just hope something happens soon.

Level 3F

: Oh, uh… hello there, little fella…

: It’s self defense!  It’s perfectly fine!

Level 4F

: Meh.

: Another one?  Already?

: God damn you, game.  God.  Damn.  You.

: Well, hey.  There’s that.

: That’s nice, too.

Level 6F

: And no minions yet?

: Okay, great, let’s get out of-

: Who the hell are you?  Where’s Floyd?

: I’m offscreen.  We got seperated thanks to this game’s retarded AI.

: Am I to assume that this is not an issue for our magical teleportation device?

: Of course not!


: Yeah, sure whatever.  I’m just glad to be done.

-Got Gravelerock 10- -Got fairy Reviver Seed- -Got Cheri Berry-

The Next Morning…

: Please be plot day, please be plot day…

: Nope.

: Well… then… just… BUGGER.

(Okay, one more dungeon should do it.  I’m just going to skip over it, unless we get a recruit.  Otherwise, it’d just be the same as the above and, quite frankly, this LP is starting to drag.)

The NEXT morning…

: This has been so damn boring and… hey, wait!  That’s not what you usually say in the morning!  Then that means…

: Hell yes!

: Well, what in the hell did you expect, the loving Taj Mahal?

: Depressing, isn’t it?

: Lady, you have no idea what depressing is.  You’ve never played Sonic 2006.

: Keh!  Who’d run a rescue team from a dump like this?  Unbelievable!

: We would because, as it just so happens, nobody really gives a damn except wankers like you lot.

: And, because I think your mannerisms are stupid, I’d like to ask… Keh?  Really?  What in the hell is that?

: You guys are, like, the lamest attempt at an antagonist I’ve seen since Twilight.

: You’re no Ozymandias.

: You’re certainly not Viral.

: And you sure as hell ain’t The Joker.   Or the JOKER, for that matter.

: Oh!  Over there, a mailbox ~!

: Back off before I kick your ass.

: I think this counts as a federal offense.  Where’s Officer Jenny?

: Yessssss!  Rescue job offers!

: Okay, that’s it, your ass is-


: Why the hell can’t I move?  God dammit, game, I can take these morons!

: Jesus…

: Ooh la la!  Isn’t that rather tasty~!

: Go to hell.

: We’ll have them all.

: Go straight to hell.  Do not pass go.  Do not collect 200 dollars.

: Are we making ourselves clear?

: Let me spell it out for you: Those are our rescue jobs.  Get the gently caress away from them.

: Keh!  It doesn’t matter who does it!

: … Yes, but if we do it, we get stuff.  See how that works?

: We’re a rescue team too, I’ll have you know~!

: This organization has no standards.  No standards at all.

: But all we ever get up to is no good!

:Of course.  After all, saving people is never good, right?

: Wanna know how it works?

: God, you guys really are the most retarded villains ever.

: Look, we’re sure your evil plan is very stupid and all, but we don’t care.

: If we have the cover of a rescue team, we can get away with even more!

: … Okay, look, you go around explaining this to people.  You don’t see a problem there?  There’s no way that anybody would actually accept you guys as a legitimate rescue operation unless they were an idiot.

: So, of course, you got in.

: We have our eyes on world domination ~!

: …What?

: Kekeh!  You heard right!

: Okay, that mannerism of yours?  It’s getting worse.

: That’s why we’re taking in the cash and adding to our gang!

: I figured that was kind of what rescue teams do.

: The world will be ours!

: Yes, yes, I’m sure the whole world will cower beneath the might of your terrible mail stealing.

: Team…. Meanies…?

: I… I just…

: …WHAT?

: I… I can’t even begin to… I just can’t…

: I mean… just……. WHAT?

: …



: Oh… ahaha… that’s…

: Oh, man, that…

: That… ahaha… that’s just amazing!

: I can’t believe… that’s just so…

: Oh, man, that’s perfect.  That’s just so bad, I can’t even begin…

: Oh, man, there’s no way in hell that anybody will ever be able to take you seriously.

: Why would you even think that’s a good idea?

: God, there’s no way you’ll ever top that one.  Keep the rescue missions, really.  It’s worth it.

: That even makes all the retarded dungeons worth it.

: Yeah… well… but…

: See ya later!  Kekekeke!

: What a bunch of losers.

: Too bad about the mail, though.

: How convienient.

: Let’s just do this.

Next: Mt. Steel!  Again!

Recruitables: Still just Zigzagoon (I tried, really).  Geodude’s in there, too, but he’s farther in then the mission takes us and I’d rather not go deeper than I have to.

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