PMD 7: LET’S BE FRIENDS GOD DAMMIT

: …there’s… there’s someone here… it’s

: Yay!

The next morning…

: Huh?  What’s up?  You look half asleep.

: I’ve just been having some terribly inconsistent dreams.  One night I’m Shadow, the next it’s Monty Python.  I can deal with good dreams, I can deal with bad dreams, but I’d like some consistency, you know?

: Strange dreams, eh?  Did you consider that maybe it’s got something to do with how you became a Pokemon?

: … No.  No, I didn’t think about that.  How in the hell did you come to that conclusion?

: Well… it’s just… do you think that maybe… you want to go back to being human?

: (Well, maybe, if I had even the vaguest sense of species loyalty.  Actually, come to think of it, I can’t even be certain I was human in the first place.  The writers seriously need to take some logistics classes or something.)

: Well, maybe.  It depends- was I French?

: I guess you could say that.  Well, I mean, if you wanted to lie.

: Well, I guess so!  It’s a lot more fun hanging around with me!

: … Yeah, I guess you could put it that way, but only if you were really dedicated to the whole ‘lying’ thing.

: Oh, bloody hell…

: This is going to end badly.

: … You scare me.

: … Oh?  Is this your first visit here?

: And hopefully my last.

: Oh, I get it.

: … Oh, um, well, I didn’t really mean-

: You started a rescue team too, didn’t you?

: … Are we even having the same conversation here?

: You’ve come to the right place!  I sell Friend Areas to add members to your rescue team!

: Say what now?

: Since you’re here for the very first time, I’ll give you two Friend Areas for free!

: … Thanks?

: Let’s do it!

: Um… yeah, no, I mean I’m not even sure if you’re-

: Wigglytuff~ Wigglytuff~

: !

: Let’s be friends…  Taaaaah!

: … What the hell was that?

: … I… just… wow, what?

: You can go to the Wild Plains now.

: You can also go to the Mist-Rise Forest.

: That means absolutely nothing to me.

: Now you can recruit Pokemon that live in those two Friend Areas.

: Hey… wait a second… recruit?  As in ‘amass an army of loyal followers’ recruit?

: Yep!

: Aw, hell yeah!

: Sometimes, they will come to admire you as a friend.

: So, we beat them up… and then they join us in battle?  Something is very wrong about that.

: In that case, they may ask to join your team.  Just keep trying!

: Wait… what?  ‘Just keep trying?’  What the deuce is that supposed to mean?
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: BUGGER!

: IF YOU’RE GIVING OUT FRIEND AREAS, COULD YOU GIVE MY FRIEND ACCESS TO THE POWER PLANT?

: No, don’t do it!  You don’t know-

: Sure!

: GOD DAMN IT!

: I was quite happy with that state of affairs, thank you very much.

: HE THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR A BIT AND DECIDED THAT HE WANTED TO JOIN AFTER ALL.

: … I hate you…

: AND THIS MATTERS BECAUSE…?

: Well, it has been a week or two… people might have forgotten.

MAGNEMITE JOINED THE TEAM!

: *Sigh*

: WELL, BYE THEN.  I’LL BE AT THE POWER PLANT.

: …Shoot.  Well, let’s get what we can.

~New Location Acquired: Mt. Deepgreen~

~New Location Acquired: Beau Plains~

~New Location Acquired: Safari~

~New Location Acquired: Flyaway Forest~

: Okay, then, let’s head back and-

: I suppose I’m required to care?

: I wonder how serious it is.  Ah, well, at least we’ll get a mission for today.

: Wait- they’re asking someone who isn’t us?

: It looks like Shiftry isn’t in to cotton balls.

: But my friend needs a gust of wind!  Please!

: Hey, Lombre- what’s going on here?

: Huh?  That scene there?  Jumpluff’s begging for a rescue mission, but not finding any luck.

: We’re going to end up doing it ourselves, I just know it.

: See that guy?

: The… um… what the hell is Shiftry supposed to be, anyway?  Or you, for that matter?

: I’m a lily pad.

: … They really need to stop coming up with new ideas.

: Anyway, that guy there is Shiftry.  He’s got his own rescue team.  But his team’s greedy.  They won’t work unless they get paid royally.

: And hopeless little sheep over there doesn’t know to shop around.  Yep, I’ve seen this one before.

: Hm?

: Oh!  It’s Alakazam!

: But of course.  It’s all about the money.

: To save Jumpluff’s friend, a strong wind is needed.

: Thank you, Cap’m Redundancy.

: Your leafy fans can whip up powerful winds.

: … I don’t think it works that way.

: It’s an easy matter for you.  Help that Pokemon out.

: … Yeah, can’t argue with that one.

: Grr…

: Oh, look at that!  He’s trying to be tough.  Please, I’ve seen feral dogs more threatening than this guy.

: Would you kindly shut up?

: Oooh, deviating from the script!  This could get interesting.

: …

: Fine.  We’ll do it.

: Look at that!  Shiftry agreed without any argument.

: The guy had a Charizard with him.  I wouldn’t have argued, either.

: Wait… somebody else is actually doing something?

: Guess you were wrong, then!

: Well, yeah, but… you just wait and see, we will have to do it eventually.

: The resident badasses.  Duh.

: What!?  You don’t know?  That’s Alakazam’s team!

: So we gathered.

: They’re the most famous rescue team around these parts.  There’s Charizard, Tyranitar, and Alakazam- they say he has an IQ of 5,000 and has memorized everything that’s happened in the world.

: Because we are blind and need this pointed out to us.

: To be fair, the bit about Alakazam wasn’t so obvious… but that’s because it was really dumb.

: No need for thanks.  It is only natural that you get help.

: If that were the case, then it wouldn’t have been necessary for you to intervene, would it?

: Do you see this giant, fire-breathing lizard standing right next to me?

: Meep.

: If anyone turns you down again, come see me.  Take care.

: It’s fine.  Nothing.

: …foreshadowing…

: On the plus side, I finally found an authority figure to heckle.

: Speak for yourself.  I’m perfectly fine being out of the limelight.  It makes snarking so much easier.

: Huh?  My antagonist senses are tingling.

The next morning…

: When the hell did I fall asleep?  What is this, The World Ends With You?

NEXT: A dungeon!

Recruitables: None in the next place we’re going to.

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