PMD 5: Fun With NPCs

(When we last left our… erm… protagonists, they were getting ready to go do stuff.)

: So… why are we still here?

: Continuity.

: How may I direct your call?

: Uh…

: Sorry. Old habits die hard.

: Right, well, um…

: What kind of operation you got going here, then?

: Ah, you wish to know how the bank operates. Very well. If you are defeated in a dungeon, you lose all of your money. Did you know that?

: I was informed, yes.

: But you can avoid that!

: It only takes three easy payments of $41.95, right?

: You’ve nothing to fear if you leave your money with Felicity Bank. Even if you return defeated from a dungeon, your money will be safe with me! I assure you, my bank will keep your money safe. Simple, isn’t it?

: Where?

: Pardon?

: Where do you keep the money? You must have some kind of vault or something, right?

: Er, yes, yes. Quite.

: … I suppose I’m obligated to take your word on that.

: This is gonna be a long update…

: And this would be…?

: Here, you can link moves, allowing you to perform them in succession on the same turn and you can also remember moves that you’ve forgotten.

: Something useless, got it.

: I’m sure certain portions of the fanbase use them.

: Yeah, but those are sad, sad people.

: Oh? I don’t believe I’ve seen you around before.

: I’m, uh… new.

: Really? Where are you from?

: Couldn’t tell you. I’m an amnesiac.

: Oh, that’s terrible!

: Not really. I don’t let it get me down. After all, no matter how bad things get, I’m still not Shadow the Hedgehog.

: Er… good for you, I guess.

: … Anyway, mind going through the introductory spiel?

: I can store items that you found in dungeons, or that you bought from shops. If you faint in a dungeon, your items will be lost… But what’s in storage will be safe. I keep guard over the storage space, so anything you leave with me won’t ever disappear! If you have any items that you can’t bear to lose, leave them with me!

: So you’re like the item bank.

: More or less.

: But… it strikes me as somewhat inefficient. You’ve got two people in the same area offering ridiculously similar services, and yet you’re on opposite sides of town. One would think that you’d be better off sharing property or at least close to each other.

: There’s actually a very good reason for the bank to be where it is, but you won’t see it for a while.

: And what would that be?

: Spoilers!

: You’re a shop. You buy and sell items. That’s about it.

: But we’re in dungeons, too!

: Where the prices are even more extortionate.

: Aw, you’re learning! I’m so proud.

(Moving north to Whishcash Pond, we find an old fish.)

: It’s like these guys are unable to talk about anything else. It’s just ‘disaster this, disaster that blah blah blah.’

: I find the ‘W’ on his forehead strangely amusing.

: It worries me to no end, thinking children will fall down into them…

: Well, that’s… creepy as all hell. Let’s get out of here.

: What about the dojo?

: Screw the dojo. I’m bored.

(If you’ve played this game, you may notice something wrong with this image. Aren’t you special?)

: Wait a second… didn’t we leave town from the south? The hell?

Level B1

: Well, this is completely different from the last time we were here.

: It’s random level generation. You know about that.

: Doesn’t mean it makes sense.

: What’s with all the incredibly specific berries?

: I wouldn’t say this is specific so much as ridiculously non-specific. A berry that heals paralysis? From any source? Highly suspect, if you ask me.

Level B2

: You ever notice how we spend most of our time with our heads cocked to the side like this?

: That’s highly telling.

: Hey, stop out leveling me!

: Can’t be helped. Stats and all that. It’s rather dull.

: Suck on that!

Level B3

: What’re we doing here again?

: Oh, sure. Fix my stats but leave me poisoned. Fricking useless tiles.

: Hyper-advanced teleportation badges and all they could do with them was send people out of caves? What a waste.

Level B4

: We found ‘im.

: A-yup. Shure did, pardner.

: Yup.

: Yep.

: Man, this is boring.

: I never thought beating up woodland creatures could be so dull.

Level B5

: Almost out of this hellhole.

: Another one?

: There’s… what, over 3 hundred now? How hard is it to pick something else?

: I’ve caught up. Huh.

: Experience growth is really weird in this game.

: Meh.

: Thank god that’s over.

Poochyena:* I mean, um, grrrr! You better watch out for… um… the… uh…

: Don’t try to be tough. It makes you look stupid.

-100 POKE- -5 Rescue Points-**

-100 POKE- -Gravelrock 10- -5 Rescue Points-

: There’s still something very odd about that. Like the Fox and the Hound, but a great many times less likely.

-Reviver Seed- -5 Rescue Points-

: Well, I’m done. See you tomorrow.

:Yeah, sure, whatever.

Next: Something happens? Maybe?

* Only the starters and Pokemon that appear during the main plot get headshots.

** Rescue points are just used for the ranking system. Accumulate enough, and a little picture on the pause menu gets changed. It’s like the happy points in Chibi-Robo but useless.

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