PMD 4: NotRorschach

: The accumulated filth of all their violence and getting trapped in caves will foam up about their waists and all the small children and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”

: And I’ll look down and whisper “no.”

: But then I’ll hang my head a little… maybe give a resigned sigh… and I’ll call down, “Hold on a minute; let me get my coat.” Because, all things considered, I’m still not a total dick.

: You done?

: Yeah, I’m good.

: ………zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…….Flashback…..zzz…hyna…hun…Rhino Feeder……….zzzz…..

: Yeah… I think… I dreamt I was in EarthBound again…

: Oh well. Guess I should check the mailbox…

: Pity.

: I suppose I’ll just check out that newsletter thing…

: There is no way in hell these guys are that advanced.

: Or not. It’s kind of hard to tell. I don’t think time is very rigid around here.

: 1 day is exactly equal to 1 dungeon. That’s all you need to know.

: So, anyway…

: No.

: Oh. Okay, then.

: Well, we can always wait and see if another delivery comes in.

: What?

: You know, like last time? The mailbird came and dropped off some stuff? After we had already checked? You remember!

: No idea what you’re talking about. The mail only comes once a day. No, we have to go check in town.

: Wait, what?

: There’s some shops, and then to the south there’s a training dojo, a pond to the north, and over to the east there’s the post office.

: Wait, but… how did you manage to build a city… with the… and… I mean… sure, there’ve been signs- the money, my little hut thing over there- but…

: Nevermind that. Let’s just take a look around.

: Where did those brick… box… things come from?

: Where’s he keep it all? In that shack? That poorly protected shack over there?

: Oh, you’re money’s safe. It’s got a door; it’s literally impossible to get in.

: That just makes it even worse.

: Link…?

: Hey, I don’t know much about the game mechanics, either. Ask the owner about it.

: Uh…

: Oh, right. If you fail a dungeon, you lose all your items and money.

: Why?

: Well, they need to punish you somehow.

: No.

: What’re you…?

: (I’m adopting a persona to deal with my inner insecurities about meeting other people.)

: …

: You just wanted to wear the poorly drawn hat.

: Don’t diss the hat.

: …

: … Yes.

: … Anyway, the post office has rescue jobs posted outside. Let’s just head over.

: Hold on. I want to talk to the NPCs.

: I don’t know why, but there’ve been many natural disasters lately.

: Uh… yeah, we noticed.

: A lot of Pokemon have gone wild and violent because the disasters scared them. It’s a mean world out there.

: Perhaps this is God’s form of retribution for-

: WILL YOU STOP THAT?

: Ugh. Fine. (Spoilsport.)

: I heard that.

: I hate telepathy.

: Pardon? Oh, the Pelliper Post Office? The Pelliper Post Office would be… straight down this path. It’s out at the cape. You can’t miss it.

: (How’d she know where we wanted to go? And why’d she think we needed directions?)

: (You get used to it eventually.)

: There was a forest fire not long ago. It was terrible. Luckily, Blastoise and Feraligatr were able to blast it quickly. But it could have been much worse if they were slower getting there.

: Guess it’s a good thing they took that turn at Albuquerque.

: I still don’t know about trusting the mail to seagulls.

: Pelicans.

: Whatever.

: Well, I have to admit, it certainly does seem to say “PELLIPER!” And by ‘say’ I mean ‘beat you over the head with.’

: Rescue jobs are on the left, next to the babysitters and used guitars.

: So, I just go up to it and…?

: Just try it. The menus are self-explanatory enough.

: Let’s just grab all the Thunderwave Cave jobs and head out.

: Aw, he’s trying to look tough while he begs for help. That’s so cute.

: That’s… actually pretty urgent. Huh.

: While the crying is understandable, I don’t get why he has to write it down.

: So, uh… you think we should head out?

: Let’s stop in town first, then we’ll go.

Next: What he just said!

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