Chaos Diamonds 3: SUDDEN LAST ISSUE SURGE (331-360)


The problem with these ‘action’ scenes is that they’re too damned boring and yet not quite stupid enough to make fun of.
I thought Psycho was a green hedgehog thing. Where’d this thing come from? And how did I not notice it before right now?
I love that sound effect. PSHEEEEEEW!!! It’s like the laser sound I used to make when my LEGOs fought each other.
The Redundancy Association of Redundancy approves of the last panel.
They can’t see him, but he can. How does that work?
Good job, Tails! People do tend to win fights when they wail on you! Have a gold star.
Whatever happened to Knuckles and his super vision?
Something about Amy’s expressions in those panels creeps me out. I think I’m picking up on some barely repressed homicidal urges.
Because Knuckles has always been able to beat Sonic all the other times they’ve fought.
Hey, buddy… don’t answer questions you haven’t been asked. It’s just good manners, mmkay?

Where in the hell did he get the Chaos Emeralds? Did they even exist this comic before right now? And what of the 50 rings? Did they exist in this comic before right now?
Because it’s not like you can stop time or anything.
She’s in love… with her broken heart. She’s in love with the dark.
Oooh! You better get some ice for that burn! YA BOYEEEE!
Since when did we use spells? I thought it was Chaos energy or something.
I love a good face heel turn. Especially when there’s absolutely no indication whatsoever that it’s going to happen.
CRUNCH?
Oh boy! Does this mean the Cap’m will show up?
Fool! Cereal mascots exist outside of time and space! You’ll never defeat Cap’m Crunch.
I’m getting tired of these boring, repetitive pages where it’s just someone getting beat up. It’s just so unnecessary.
This is why we don’t put our power sources at fist level.
…WTF?
I suppose they’re going to join together and create some kind of super diamond or something?
Way to come out of the blue, plot point.
Shadow is not genre savvy.
Anybody know what’s going on in the last panels?
What in the hell just happened? Something stupid, I presume.
And everybody lives happily ever after, thanks to the magic of the RESET BUTTON.

But… Knuckles knows the whole thing was a ruse to get his trust, right? He’s going to leave here because it would be stupid to do otherwise, right?
…Oh, yeah, right. We’re in this comic.
RESET BUTTON’D.
HAPPY ENDING’D.
Gratuitous 1337 makes baby Jesus cry.
… It’s over? Is it finally over?
At last… at long last…
It’s a brand new day! WOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOO! Yeah! FINALLY!
…………………….?
………
THE HELL WAS THAT FOR? Why do you need to throw in this random thing? So, what, they lived happily ever and Amy died of old age? Why tell us this? Can’t we just… like… assume that? Is this just a random Dues Angst Machina (like a Dues Ex Machina, only it makes things angsty), thrown in because happy endings are cliche and true art is angsty?
I……. I just don’t get this. This is stupid and…..
Wait…
MOTHER?
I don’t even want to think about that. Eww eww eww. I mean… what would that even look like?
Actually, I don’t want to know.

At the very least, it’s better than the Sonic the Hedgehog game on the 360 and PS3. The one that sucked, but more importantly had a love story in it. Between Sonic and some human woman. Yes.
Hey, I’ll sell you some brain bleach! Only 3 easy payments of $29.95! Never have to think about that last paragraph ever again!

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