Chaos Diamonds 3: Issues 1-10

This is the start of a long-ish term (about a month) foray into the world of crappy webcomics: Chaos Diamonds 3. I’ll be doing 10 issues a day for a month, except for when I’m unable (you will be warned; I’ll try to get a replacement, but don’t count on it).
This comic is… well… pretty bad. The art’s okay, but the plot and dialog make me want to hurt something. Also, there’s a bad attempt at humor in the legal mumbo-jumbo on the bottom; some crap about your first born baby and a reference to ‘Trogtor.’ So, then, let’s continue.

Not much to say here. I kind of have to wonder why, exactly, they’re standing so close to Eggman despite him being the villain… I think, it’s impossible to tell who’s who and what’s what right now.

As usual, I empathize with Tails.
Who are those people in the fifth panel? What do they have to do with Sonic? What the hell’s a Chaos diamond? These questions and more answered… never, as far as I know.

You know, I don’t think he needs a whole page to communicate what’s going on here. I really don’t.

Hmm… it appears that Eggman actually isn’t the bad guy. My bad.
Despite having played most of the Sonic games (the only major ones I’ve missed are Sonic Rush Adventure and the one on the 360 and PS3- not that I mind), I’m pretty sure that Chaos Control has never been used to seal things before.
I love how the heroes are leaving a bunch of scientists to die of asphyxiation. I think that’s what’s going on, but… well… it’s been addressed before.

I hate the way he says ‘Deh plane.’

Ah! It’s evil NiGHTS from hell!
There certainly isn’t a dramatic twist to this; it’s quite obvious that the villain will just let them go. After all, he certainly doesn’t seem to-

-oh, I guess they’re taking an extra strip. Thanks for derailing the sarcasm, guys. Anyway, I, for one, trust Tails’ technobabble. Nothing bad will-

Okay, Bryon, have you heard of something called ‘pacing?’ It’s where you don’t take 3 issues to get to a highly obvious dramatic ‘twist.’

And now you’ve managed to make me not care. Dammit, we’re only 1/36th in to this, and already I don’t want to continue. That, my friends, is EPIC FAIL.

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